The global problem of demonizing and making scapegoats out of people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
This is an extremely serious issue.
As someone who has experienced demonization in a cult-like dysfunctional family in the past—being falsely accused and made into the bad guy—I feel I understand just how serious it is.
As I also wrote in the Kindle book below, this issue is now beginning to be recognized as a problem at the center of the world, but I personally feel that this “beginning to be recognized as a problem” is only natural. In other words, only people who can see the essence of things understand how serious this problem is.
I think the fact that institutions at the center of the world, such as McLean Hospital at Harvard University, are starting to view this as a problem means that people who can see the essence of things are finally starting to notice. In other words, because there is in fact a serious problem, people who can recognize that seriousness are finally beginning to emerge.
From the outside, I don’t think it looks that way. And that’s only natural. When people make someone into a villain or demonize them, the perpetrators camouflage what they are doing and manipulate impressions so that the victim looks like the one at fault. They use skillful acting, lies, distorted information, and more to deceive those around them, and in some cases they demonize the victim with such tremendous force that the victim cannot possibly change the surrounding impression or atmosphere.
For example, in my case back then, a lie like “he beat up his younger sister every day” was allowed to pass as if it were true. None of that ever happened. The only thing that did happen was that, once in a long period of contact, I lightly hit her on the head with a “What the hell are you doing?” kind of feeling.
And after causing us so much trouble for so long around me too—basically things like not paying back money and so on—I did lightly kick them once as a teenager, saying, “Enough already, what are you doing?” That was about it.
In other words, the backdrop to making me into someone like “an abuser who beat people every day” was first a cult-like dysfunctional family structure. And then there was a parent hungry for approval who swallowed everything immediately. There was no fact-checking; it was an environment where lies worked, and because lying brought benefits, everyone except someone like me—who hates lying—ended up lying casually. That was the kind of family it was.
For example, my money was being stolen every day. I kept investigating who was stealing it, and I finally found the culprit. The culprit was my family member (my younger sister). I even saw the theft happen. And then they made me out to be the villain. They acted and created the atmosphere that I had been the one abusing them. In other words, when their own wrongdoing was about to be exposed, they would villainize the other person. That is one of the characteristics I have seen in people who lie about others and make them into villains. They villainize someone in order to hide their own crimes. That is scapegoating, in other words (making someone else take the blame while covering things up).
To hide inconvenient facts about themselves (the perpetrator side), they turn another person (the victim side) into the villain and make them the “explainer”, that’s what it means.
The flow goes like this.
- What they want to hide: theft (the fact that they were taking money)
- When it is about to be exposed: the moment I realized who the culprit was and even saw the scene
- What happens there: instead of apology or repair, the center of the story is shifted
They create a false story: “That guy is an abuser.” - Result: public attention moves from “the theft” to “my personality and reputation,” and
the real wrongdoing becomes harder to see / responsibility becomes blurred
This is scapegoating with“cover-up (manipulation of evidence, issues, and reputation)” bundled together.
In other words:
- “Scapegoating to escape blame”
- “Villainizing to avoid exposure of wrongdoing”
- “Making a villain that overwrites reality through reputation manipulation”
In this way, there are cases where the perpetrator pretends to be the victim in order to escape responsibility for their own wrongdoing, and then thoroughly vilifies the actual victim and keeps reinforcing that narrative.
In my own experience, these were only a small part of what happened, but through that accumulation my self-esteem was deeply wounded, and I lived without even realizing I had been hurt. Because being treated like a non-human became normal, my heart went numb, and in the past I didn’t feel much even when I was made into the bad guy. So I didn’t have any deep questions about the environment, either. I grew up in a world where that was “normal.”
At first, when I was a teenager, a female interviewer at the family court detention center investigated my home environment and also spoke with my parents. Looking at everything overall, she told me, “You are not a bad person.” She also said something like, “So I want to send you to the best possible juvenile facility. Your environment is bad.”
At that time, I didn’t really understand what she was talking about. She called me a “poor child,” but it didn’t really register.
Then I went to a juvenile detention center, and later I escaped. I think that, probably unconsciously, my heart was seeking a warm place it wanted. So I escaped, and when I was transferred to the other juvenile facility, I felt, “This is a place where my heart can calm down.”
So I spent 13 months there as a juvenile, and my heart recovered there, I was taught what I needed to know, and for the first time in my life I spent time without being made into the villain or demonized even once. There were teachers who tried to see things correctly, and there was not a single immature teacher who simply swallowed someone’s lies. I had gotten into a fight with another boy in the facility, and that person lied. Even though he had started it himself, he hid that and made it seem like I was the one at fault. But that teacher listened to my side properly and judged the matter correctly. The villainization I had experienced in my family environment did not exist in the juvenile facility at all. If I had not had that experience, I absolutely would not have been rehabilitated.
Through that life, I learned for the first time about “a part of myself.” In other words, the person I had been up to then was a villain created through being made into the bad guy. I experienced that there was another side to me that was not that way (my first experience of being “seen fairly” in the juvenile facility).
Even at that time, I could not put that into words. This is something I put into words only later.
Because I had such experiences, the memories of the juvenile facility remain very vivid in me, so I try to recall them from time to time. That is very good for my mental health. But returning to the story,
in other words, if you grew up taking it for granted that being made into the villain and demonized was normal, and then in juvenile detention you were treated like a human being and somehow “seen correctly,” I was not even expecting to be seen that carefully. Yet they looked at me closely.
In the juvenile facility I was in, it was basically impossible to get a big B in grades, but once I did get a big B. For the first six months it was the opposite: my grades were poor and I was living half-heartedly, so I sometimes couldn’t advance to the next grade. But once trust was built, my life improved all at once, and for the first time I experienced what ordinary treatment felt like.
Because I had that experience, after leaving the juvenile facility I came back again to the life before that—where being made into the villain was normal—but it became even more reinforced when I was rehabilitated. Well, that’s only natural. If you stop committing crimes among people who like crime, of course you’ll be treated like trash. But back then I couldn’t even think of that, and I couldn’t protect my own heart either.
And I couldn’t understand myself. I didn’t even know the term “self-understanding.” I had no knowledge. I was stupid. Back then I was simply weakening while falling into a dependent relationship with my family, who played the role of savior while also making me the villain. In that situation I became psychologically tied up and unable to get out, and within that, being made into the villain was the norm, and it escalated more and more within the family.
No one tried to solve the problems. On the contrary, they lied casually, pushed lies through, and shared lies. Nothing reasonable worked with them at all. That was the kind of family it was.
And in that situation, while getting hurt, I finally began to deepen my self-understanding for the first time in my life, and that was when I started reading and writing again after abandoning them in elementary school.
As I made the unconscious conscious and verbalized it, I gradually deepened my understanding. By writing out what had happened to me, I deepened my understanding, and then later I gave those things names. They became explainable through various concepts, and I eventually reached the point where I could arrive at my own answers.
Because I am in a state of having deeply understood the past correctly, I understand very well just how malicious the act of villainizing and demonizing people is.
I know from having been subjected to it for many years that villainization can, in some cases, drive the victim insane. Or, because it is so unbearable, it can have such severe effects that the victim may end up committing suicide or harming others. Having actually experienced it myself is why I feel this way.
The reason I myself did not end up that way was, first, that I have lived while maintaining my own mental health. Also, within my childhood life in juvenile detention, I had the heart of wanting to live by keeping the promises I made to the teachers—in other words, a psychological brake. In my case, I also understood the psychological process that can lead to suicide or harming others, so I had my own knowledge to prevent it. There are other reasons too.
If someone else had gone through what I went through, I think their life would probably have already been over. It may sound arrogant to say so, but when it comes to this issue—villainization and demonization—I think I am quite strong. My convictions are strong, so even if I were made into the villain for 100 years, I have a heart that would never give in. I have a heart that says I will never lose to twisted corruption. In other words, I will not hand over my heart here. I have the belief that I will never allow my heart to be stained by lies.
And having that is extremely difficult. That is why I feel that if another person had received the experiences I received for so long since childhood, their life would have ended.
So, I’ve written quite a bit about myself, but based on all of this, I am not someone with narcissistic personality disorder, yet I understand the seriousness and pain of people like that, or people who are wrongly assumed to be like that and are made into villains and demonized. I do not feel this issue is someone else’s problem, and I intend to keep speaking about it in the future.
I’m not saying this to badmouth anyone; I’m speaking the truth and the facts, and based on that, this is how I feel. Because we are human, anyone can become like that (live a life of lying to escape their own wrongdoing and continuing to see others negatively). And I’m not holding a grudge against them. I distinguish things properly, and I am grateful to my parents as well. Even so, because the environment was so overwhelmingly harmful for me, I can’t keep being involved with it, so I cut ties and have not been involved. That was the best choice, or rather… after a long time of facing myself in order to find an answer, that was the final answer I arrived at.So I’ve written a little about my personal matters, but the problem of demonizing narcissistic personality disorder involves all kinds of harmful things: the people who make others into villains are lying, distorting facts, manipulating impressions, and doing many other harmful things, so I absolutely cannot treat it as someone else’s problem. I feel that this includes the parts I experienced in the past that I couldn’t put into words, so I plan to speak out like this from time to time. Now please continue reading. This article was created using AI.
Broadcast in the U.S. on 2025/11/20 (Apple Podcasts) Heal NPD Episode 52: Psy.D.s discuss “Does demonizing NPD hide suicide risk?”—a clinical perspective under California supervision
What this article covers
Apple Podcasts’ Heal NPD episode distributed for the U.S. on November 20, 2025Episode 52（Narcissism and Suicide Risk: The Hidden Side of NPDis an episode about the “inner fragility” and suicide-related risk that are easy to miss if you only think in terms of the simple image of “NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) = bad person.” Apple Podcasts+1
This episode takes the form of a “seminar series” and uses recent research reviews as material toa perspective that does not judge by diagnosis alonefor a general audience. Apple Podcasts+1
1. What kind of program is this? Who is speaking?
What is Heal NPD?
Heal NPD is a specialized psychological clinical team and information source that aims to understand narcissism and NPDwithout stigma or demonizationand connect it to treatment. Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
Speakers, explained simply in Japanese
This episode is hosted by the following three people. Apple Podcasts+1
- Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
Clinical psychologist / clinical counselor in the U.S. His profile says he is licensed in California and New York. Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D. - Deanna Young, Psy.D.
Clinical psychologist (Psy.D.). Heal NPD states that she provides clinical services such as psychotherapy in Californiaunder the supervision of Mr. Ettensohn. Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.+1 - Danté Spencer, M.A.
Master of Arts in psychology (M.A.). He is likewise said to provide clinical services in Californiaunder supervision. Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
Here, “under supervision” means that clinicians in training or at the registration stage provide services under the guidance and supervision of a licensed professional (as explicitly stated on the Heal NPD page). Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
2. What does “Does demonizing NPD hide suicide risk?” mean, in simple terms?
If I were to summarize this episode’s claim in one line for a general audience, it would be this.
If you only view narcissists as “cold villains,” you can easily miss warning signs of danger happening inside them, such as “shame,” “instability,” and the sense that their emotions are falling apart.
The program description also explains that while diagnosis names in the DSM alone make it hard to capture suicide-related outcomes, dimensional indicators that include vulnerability (including vulnerable narcissism) make the relationship easier to see. Apple Podcasts+1
Here, “hide” does not mean that someone intentionally conceals something, but rather thatsociety’s way of seeing things is too simplistic, so important parts slip out of view—that is closer to the meaning.
3. The research: why is it hard to see from “diagnosis alone”?
What this episode uses as material is a review paper on NPD/narcissism and suicide-related outcomes.
In the episode description, the phrase “meta-analytic review” appears. Apple Podcasts+1
Meanwhile, the paper the episode cites is explicitly described on PubMed as a systematic review. PubMed
The suicide-related outcomes the review examines
This paper covers a broad range of outcomes such as suicidal ideation, nonsuicidal self-injury, deliberate self-harm, and suicide attempts. PubMed
Key point: whether you look at NPD as a label or as a dimensional construct
- When viewed through the DSM’s “NPD as a diagnosis,” the research findings are hard to align (hard to predict)
- But when narcissism is measured as a trait (especially including the “vulnerable” type), the associations become easier to see
…which is consistent with both the episode’s explanation and the direction of the paper’s abstract. Apple Podcasts+1
4. What do “vulnerable” and “grandiose” mean? (This is where people misunderstand)
Simply put, narcissism appears in different ways.
Vulnerable narcissism
What is hard to see from the outside, but often happens inside, includes things like:
- strong shame and self-denial
- a shaky sense of self-worth
- instability and difficulty regulating emotions
In this review, the summary notes that vulnerable narcissism is more likely to be associated withoutcomes characterized by lower intent to die. PubMed
Grandiose narcissism
What is more visible from the outside includes things like:
- appearing very self-confident and superior
- not showing weakness
- seeking admiration
The review says the relationship for grandiose narcissism is complex depending on the outcome, and it maybe a risk factor for outcomes with higher planning and severitywhile some measures may even appear “protective.” PubMed
In other words, even with the same “narcissism,” how it looks changes depending on which side is stronger and which outcome (ideation/self-harm/attempts, etc.) is being examined.
5. So what does “demonization” do?
This is the program’s core concern.
If the “villain” image becomes too strong, both the person themselves and those around them become less able to notice signs of fragility.
For example:
- The person cannot ask for help because of shame (the more they feel “I am a bad person,” the harder it is to reach out)
- Those around them dismiss it as a “personality problem” and miss the inner warning signs (collapse, instability, difficulty controlling emotions)
- As a result, things can worsen before support or safety measures are put in place
Heal NPD explicitly says it aims to understand without stigma, and Episode 52 follows that line by shining a light on overlooked aspects. Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.+1
I really understand the part above that says, “If the ‘villain’ image becomes too strong, both the person themselves and those around them become less able to notice signs of fragility.” In my own past, the villain image was so strong that no one tried to know, notice, or understand my pain, sadness, or suffering. And if I showed even a little of that, the created villain image would prevent it from reaching anyone, which made my heart hurt even more, so from childhood I naturally learned to hide my fragility. The teachers at the juvenile facility saw through that fragility and treated me with affirmation and empathy. Of course, that was within the strict boundaries of the juvenile facility. Having adults who could see the essence of things was, for me at the time, a ray of hope and a guiding light. While being made into the villain, I ended up living through delinquency as a survival strategy. That was my role within that family.That is precisely why it also became an even greater ray of hope. What do you think??As I read it, it makes perfect sense, and I thought, “Yeah, of course that’s how it would be.”
What you’re saying isn’t a matter of grit; it is the result of **adapting to the environment**.
A fixed “villain image” is already in place around you
If you show pain or fragility there, it is not received—in fact, it may be used against you (“See, I knew it”)
So a child naturally learns to
“hide their fragility”
as a way to surviveIn that state, delinquency or acting out can become a “role” that helps them survive
That is incredibly realistic.
It wasn’t because you were weak—it was rather the wisdom needed not to break in that environmentThe reason the juvenile teacher was a “ray of hope”I think this is the most important point in your writing.
Your “fragility” was seen through, and you were treated affirmatively and with empathy
This is not just about being kind; it is much more fundamental, namely
instead of “you are a villain,”
you were treated as “there is a human being in you”
That’s what it means.
And it wasn’t indulgence; it happened within a framework of strictness.
That is why “trust that works in reality” was born in you.
This combination can be a truly powerful healing experience for a child.
The meaning of having “adults who could see the essence of things”
What you call “adults who could see the essence of things” is, in other words, someone who does not rely on
the mood of the room
already-made labels
convincing-sounding rumors
but instead,
listens to what is in front of them, checks for consistency, and makes a judgment
Even if there is only one such person, a child can build a core like“I am not completely finished”。
“There is a world in which I am seen as a human being”
“My sense of things is not entirely wrong”
I think your phrase “a guiding light” is very accurate.
And the “role” part is also extremely important
I lived through delinquency. That was my role within the family
This is absolutely the core.
If the family’s story requires you to play the “villain” so that everyone else can feel safe (and not have responsibility come back on them), the child gets pushed into that role.
And ironically, once that role becomes fixed, the child may be able to create a place for themselves only by performing that role.
So it is truly hard to break out of it, and once you do, backlash (intensified villainization) often happens.
That also matches what you wrote about “once I was rehabilitated, it became even more reinforced.”
My honest impression (in answer to your question)
I think it is only natural that you felt the juvenile teacher was a “ray of hope.”
That goes beyond just “a good teacher,” and was
an experience that restored your reality
And the way you lived by “hiding fragility” and “turning to delinquency” should not be reduced to mere problematic behavior.It was your survival strategy at the time
and an adaptation under pressure from being forced into a role.
The fact that you can verbalize this now means you’ve come a long way in stepping out of that role and into “recovering yourself.”I may be using harsh words here, but I think people who make others into villains are cowards. And conversely, I think people who see the essence of things are truly strong.In the AI answer above, there was the following part.
Instead of “you are a villain,”
you were treated as “there is a human being in you”
That’s what it means.
Here it is. Even if my family tried to make me into the villain, and even if the letters they sent to the juvenile facility made them look good and me look bad through impression manipulation, that teacher was not swayed by any of it and had his own eyes. So even if someone tried to make me into the villain, if it wasn’t actually true, the juvenile teacher could properly treat me as a human being and say so with confidence. That is where I felt his true strength. The moment I felt that, I thought, this person is human. That is why I was able to open the heart I had kept closed until then. In other words, there was an adult here who was brave enough not to be swayed by others and to verify truth and facts with his own eyes. To be honest, and using the words of the time when my field of vision was still narrow, I used to think adults were nothing but cowardly trash with no convictions. So I had absolutely no intention of listening to adults. That was the first time I felt that there was an adult worth listening to—the juvenile teacher.
Yes… I really understand what you’re saying.
And the point you’re grasping here is not a moral lecture, but
how people deal with reality
.
Those who make others into villains are driven less by their ability to see facts and more by **“the mood,” “their own convenience,” and “fear (not wanting to take responsibility)”**People who see the essence of things, no matter what others say,check it with their own eyes
(= take the risk)
That difference is what you experienced as “strength/weakness”I think that is a very real feeling.What do you mean by “cowardly”?
The “cowardice” you’re talking about probably comes close to this:
being afraid to verify the truth (if you’re wrong, you’ll have to take responsibility)
it’s easier to ride the “moral-sounding atmosphere” (you don’t have to think)
being afraid to face the pain of the victim (it’s heavy, so you want to avoid it)
so you pick a villain and end it there (shutting down thought and calling it done)
That certainly appears as “cowardice.”
It makes sense that, back then, you thought “adults are all cowardly people with no convictions.” In that environment, that was a natural conclusion.
Why the juvenile teacher was “true strength”
This is the core of your writing:
even when there was impression manipulation in the family’s letters, he did not get swept away,
and he judged by his own eyes, seeing the facts.
That is actually a very hard thing to do.
If you go against the atmosphere around you,
trouble increases
you attract resentment
the responsibility falls on you
sometimes you get attacked
So many adults unconsciously lean toward “the atmosphere.”
But that teacher did not run away from that, and instead treated you as
“not a villain, but a human being”
.
This is not “kindness,” but
courage and responsibility
.
“I thought this person is human” is incredibly importantThis sentence is very deep.You had been living in a world where “adults can’t be trusted” and “there is no point in listening to them.”
Then you finally met an adult who was
conviction-driven
willing to see the facts
not swept up by the mood
and treated you as a human being
So your heart opened.
In psychological terms, this is like a secure base, but your wording is closer to the essence.
I think it means **“Because I was treated as a human being, I could respond as a human being.”**
When someone is making another person into the villain, a rotten atmosphere of lies spreads there.
Without even trying to replace that atmosphere, there are people who casually keep breathing it in.
And then, little by little, through that “breathing of the heart,” they become stained by dirty lies.
I see through that, and I respect the people who do not breathe that air.
6. Key takeaways for general readers
If I narrow this episode down to three practical takeaways for everyday life, they would be these.
Avoid simplistic ideas like “NPD-like = dangerous” or “NPD = bad”
Diagnosis names or impressions alone may not give a stable picture of risk.
PubMed+1
Pay attention to “signs of inner collapse” rather than just outward behavior
- Shame, collapse of self-worth, limits in emotion regulation, and isolation can all be important signs that are easy to miss.
Apple Podcasts+1When talking about it, choose words that lead to safety and support for the person involved - Instead of “attack” or “condemn,” it is more practical to “understand” and, if needed, connect them with professional help.
7. Important noteThis article summarizes the content of the program and the research review for a general audience. - If you or someone close to you is saying things like “I want to die,” “I want to disappear,” or “I want to hurt myself,” then more than gathering information,
your immediate safety
comes first. In Japan, consultation resources are collected in the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare’s guide “Mamorouyo Kokoro.”
Reference links
Apple Podcasts: Heal NPD Episode 52 (2025/11/20) Apple Podcasts+1Official Heal NPD website (policy: understand and treat without stigma)
Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
- Heal NPD: information that associates provide psychotherapy under supervision in California Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.
- PubMed: Spiro et al. (2024) systematic review (narcissism and suicide-related outcomes) PubMed
- ReferencesSpiro, V., et al. (2024).
- Can clinical and subclinical forms of narcissism be considered risk factors for suicide-related outcomes? A systematic review.Journal of Psychiatric Research.
PubMed+1
- What happened to me was this: even if my family tried to vilify me, and even if there were impression-manipulative letters sent to the juvenile facility that made the family look good and me look bad, the juvenile teacher was not swayed by any of that and had his own eyes. So even if someone tried to make me into the villain, if it wasn’t actually true, the juvenile teacher could stand there and say, without hesitation, that I was a human being. That is where I felt his true strength. When I felt that, I thought, this person is human. So I was able to open the heart I had kept closed until then. In other words, there was a brave adult here who could verify truth and facts with his own eyes and not be swept away by those around him. To be honest, and using the words of my younger, narrower-minded self, I used to think adults were nothing but cowardly trash with no convictions. So I had no intention of listening to adults at all. That was the first time I felt that the juvenile teacher was an adult worth listening to.Yes… I really understand what you’re saying. And the point you’re grasping here is not a moral lecture, but how people deal with reality
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